Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
