yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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