I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize