My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
