how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
