do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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