nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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