I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize