I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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