I didn't shave. On purpose
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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