I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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