Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
