I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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