Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
