girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
