My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
this boner is exhausting
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
