Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
nutella sex= disaster
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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