I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
do herpes really smell.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
