morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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