Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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