If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize