you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize