We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
