i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
