soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I wish you could order shots online.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
