i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
