Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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