tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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