if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize