it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
