If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
