The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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