i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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