I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
COCAINE IS GR8
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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