I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
