Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize