College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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