did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
