do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
