so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
