Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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