just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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