Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize