I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
