I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
