Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
