I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
