if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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