apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
