My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Two words: blizzard sex
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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