somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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