last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
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Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize