Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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