i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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