I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
