party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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