It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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