nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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