just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
