i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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