I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
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