I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize