Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
