My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize